Death is an inevitable part of life but I have learned by loving the living that their death often defines us. I have lost many family members and friends during my life. In the last two weeks I have said goodbye to my coworker who was a great mentor and my sister-in-law’s mom who was like a second mom to me who even made me eat my first Brussel sprouts. Even though I know that death is not the end but just the beginning for the believer, it is still hard to navigate the loss here and the hole it seems to leave in your heart from missing them.
Yes, grief is part of the painful process of losing someone, but it is also part of the healing process and the beautiful price we pay for loving someone. A certainty of life is that we don’t know how long we all have on this earth. A certain amount of time has already passed for us all and we are not guaranteed tomorrow so I suggest we live a purpose-driven life and we love deeply while we still can. In fact, we must awaken the art of living to fully understand the art of dying. After all, life only exists now in the present moment we are given but busyness often distracts us from living until death is knocking at our door.
I guess I just don’t want to leave this world before I fulfill my purpose. I believe we are given earthly assignments to accomplish and I don’t want to leave this world with that calling not fulfilled. So there’s no better time than now to start because every day we are one day closer to our own death.
Though death doesn’t scare me, it is heartbreaking to think how quickly time flies from birth to the grave. In the last days we get caught up in those final moments of their lives. The details of the way our loved ones struggled with disease or if they suffered a tragic ending can often cause trauma that seems to loom over us later.
I can remember laying my head on my daddy’s chest, hearing his heartbeat and knowing that would be the last time I would have his shoulder to lean on. I remember every scalding tear that fell from my eyes as I told him how much I loved him and how I didn’t know how I could possibly live without his presence in my life. He was my buffer – that one person I could count on to help me through this journey. Because my daddy was the tenderhearted one and others only saw me as the brassy one, he had a way of softening my demeanor and helping me see that everything wasn’t as bad as it seemed.
Back then life was about walking through the dark places but knowing my daddy was still there to hold my hand. So losing my dad was extremely difficult for me. I had only had him for 42 years and that wasn’t long enough. I still needed him and my heart ached when I had to let him go. But in his death I also learned the blessing of life. I learned that I could always lean on my Daddy God as well, even in those death defining moments, God showed me things that are only revealed on the verge of death. He let me know that even in the valley of death He was with me. He was with my daddy. So I know He was also with Jerry and Sandra walking them home these last weeks of their lives.
Though death often defines us, God always finds us. For those of us left behind we get to reflect and reevaluate their own lives and the significance of living our lives to the fullest every day. By moving forward in grief we begin to understand that this life is only a vapor. We only have today to do something differently. Today we can embrace those friends and family members we still have in our lives. And today we can also be grateful for the loved ones we had the privilege of loving before they passed through. Though we may feel like they left us way too soon, they have completed their earthly assignment and heaven was their reward. They have finished their course, left their mark on each of us and their lives and deaths have hopefully changed us forever for the good.
